First 100 Days (And Beyond): The Important Role Dads Can (And Should) Play
- Will Zhong
- 2 days ago
- 4 min read
Okay, so my hope for this post is that it plugs an information gap I experienced in the lead up to the birth of our son.
If you’re more of a visual person or just want the TL;DR, then this Instagram reel sums it up perfectly.
Whether it’s brain fog, the inability to take paternity leave, or even stubbornly persistent gender roles, the advice I received from fathers to the question, ‘do you have any advice for the role I can play as the father in the early days’ was often hard to implement.
Advice ranged from:
‘The first 6 months were a blur’
‘Support the mum’
‘I didn’t really connect with the baby until they turned 1’
‘Work to “provide” for the family’
‘Be a pin cushion for the mum’
‘Mate, dads got no or little time off back in my day’
Like, I got all that advice, and I knew that mums had it way harder than dads. And, sure, I mostly agree and would pass on similar advice to other dads (though I think the norm of dads being the primary breadwinners is changing).
But I was still searching for something else: tangible steps I could actually take to prepare to be a supportive partner and parent.
Instead, I filled the gap with baby “prep” shopping: cot, pram, even school selection. I also booked a deal to duck across to Hayman Island when our son hit 4 months (where I’d later write this).
So, with over 100 days of dad experience, and with the help of numerous mums who’ve helped fact check, here are practical ways dads (and non-birthing parents) can support mum (and bubs) in the first 100 days.
And if you’re tempted to skip this because you’re ‘bringing home the bacon’ (a view sometimes shared by mums too), here’s my take: after witnessing childbirth and the physical toll on mum, no amount of bacon comes close to those sacrifices.
And for the doubters out there, these horrifyingly comical cartoons (you’ve been warned, because they are truly horrifying) which depict a world where men gave birth, put it better than I ever could.
Domesticate Yourself
As the dad, there was only one thing I couldn’t do: breastfeed.
But breastfeeding is hard, and paired with childbirth recovery, housework becomes the last thing mum should think about.
What does this mean? Well, here’s a daily laundry list (Will joke—I can’t even blame ChatGPT for that):
Dad is the Chief Dishy
Load and unload the dishwasher.
Baby dishes too: bottles, pump parts — wash, dry, repeat.
Prepare and fill bottles so they’re ready on the go.
Dad is the Executive Chef
Learn a few quick, healthy meals before baby arrives — brekkies, lunches, dinners. Think oats, berries, pre-cooked chicken, falafels, pre-washed salads. Condiments, pickles and spices are key to keeping food interesting.
Chop up veggies and fruit (e.g. celery, carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, berries, melons) and store in small containers or leave out so mum can quickly grab healthy snacks. Popcorn, cheese and crackers, and Veggie Chips make for great savoury snacks.
Set up UberEats and DoorDash accounts for emergency meals and snacks—OzBargain has the latest discounts.
Dad is the Water Boy
Observe where mum sits and is often stranded breastfeeding or naptrapped without water during the day. Once you’ve noted these locations, set up a ‘hydration station’—i.e. a large glass of water that is your responsibility to refill (and change the glass every few days).
Tip 1: Stemless wine glasses are great because they store up to 500ml and are light, and are less prone to knocking over compared to a tall glass.
Tip 2: Add phone chargers nearby for bonus points.
Dad is the Doggy Daycare
Remember that furry child before baby came along? Someone’s still got to feed, walk, and give them love—that’s your job, Dad.
This also extends to any indoor or outdoor plants. Mum’s gotta kid the baby watered, so Dad can water and weed the plants.
Dad is the Laundromat
Pick up dirty laundry around the house (your laundry load will increase tenfold), put into the washing machine.
Hang up washing/put in dryer (my wife and I had a debate about buying a dryer before we had a child—she won, and I am grateful).
Fold and put away washing.
Dad is the Head Housekeeper
Keep the house in daily reset mode (including vacuuming). I might not see the chaos while at work, but it matters at home—so mum isn’t reusing mugs, hunting down toilet paper, seeing my toilet skids, or rolling ankles on baby or dog toys.
Tip: We now get a cleaner every 3 to 4 weeks. $130 for a proper reset and more time with my wife and son? Yes please!
Dad is the Fixer
As someone who grew up in an apartment for most of my life, I had the fortune of not needing to fix stuff around the home. But now, with a house, comes great responsibility to fix stuff that breaks.
So if the water heaters aren’t working like they should be, or if there’s a leaky tap, it’s one for the dad to manage end-to-end: from investigating what the problem is to getting the right tradie in to assist.
And failing that, YouTube is a wonderful thing.
The role of Fixer also includes if there’s a need to run out to get some formula, milk, or a last-minute birthday present.
Long story short, Dad: if there’s a problem, you fix it.
That might sound like a lot, but after a few hours of witching hour, teething, or reflux— when your brain turns to mush and you’re longing for a holiday— you quickly understand how impressive it is that mums do this 24/7 while handling everything else above.
Mums are truly heroes walking among us mere mortals.
I hope this helps dads heading into (or already in) baby chaos— please add anything I’ve missed in the comments and I’ll keep updating the post!
-Will
Where was I writing this?
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